Ever since I could remember I’ve always felt an awareness of something greater outside myself… and equally felt a stillness within. One of my earliest memories of this sensation was when I was ~4, in Kentucky, on a warm summer afternoon.
I was upstairs in my room, on the bed, looking outside my window through the screen staring at the thick green row of trees in the backyard and found myself staring… at the trees and its aliveness, the sky and knowing without labeling how the trees and sky are connected, and how there was a stillness throughout it all.
At the same time however, I felt this hole… this sense of loneliness. And I would find myself feeling this sense of deep loneliness throughout my life particularly in high school, college, and especially in my early to mid twenties. It wasn’t persistent, but it would come and go without warning and left me wondering where it came from.
I would later come to find that healing came from knowing this hole is within all of us as human beings on this planet. Healing came from knowing there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Healing came from understanding I have a purpose to integrate and dance on this beautiful plane of existence and knowing I was given a gift from God, the Universe, the greater pulse of life.
I’m an ambivert. So deciding to share parts of my life was like a raging war between the extrovert in me and the highly private introvert in me! But it was tugging at my heart and I decided if any of these thoughts, tears, laughter and ultimately miracles of everyday life could touch even a single soul – it would be worth it.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.