“It’s always about Oneness or Separation”
When you open your closed heart, that’s when life begins.
Photo by Ricardo
“It’s always about Oneness or Separation”
When you open your closed heart, that’s when life begins.
Photo by Ricardo
It’s officially the middle of the month guys… are you taking advantage of every moment? Drinking in the last few days of 2017?!
I know for certain I have had a few moments this past week where I am caught up in the busy-ness of the day to day, but thankfully yoga and meditation brings me back to center.
What are your day to day staples that help you bring you to your center?
No really, do you have something that can help you calm the thoughts? the emotions? the discomfort of being in your body at times?
Oftentimes we forget that it’s OK to have the emotion but what’s actually causing the suffering is our RELATIONSHIP to the emotion which causes angst and incredible pain.
That’s where the practice of silent quality time with yourself can come in handy. Whether you have a practice already or not, I thought I’d list a couple here. Personally I have found it helpful to switch it up at times.
Ways to Center
And the list goes on! The point here is to give you a breath of inspiration OR allow yourself to pivot from any of the ideas above so that you can creatively find new ways to center.
This practice is powerful and if you already have a personal practice you know what I’m talking about. They’re a life saver 😉
So, if there’s one thing I can emphasize for this week’s Friday Focus it’s this – it’s not our emotions, it’s our relationship to the emotion that causes the suffering.
Here’s to finding more ways to find our center and a new awareness of our relationship to our thoughts and emotions.
In deep wellness,
I see a lot of mental shaming that goes on when people can’t seem to make a desired change. Particularly when they don’t understand why all of their efforts and mental willpower doesn’t lead to enact permanent change.
First of all, don’t judge yourself. That is the worst thing you can do in this type of situation. Why? Because it’s not your fault. And trust me, I’ve been there myself where I used to judge and blame myself for failing multiple times in trying to change behavior.
You see, somewhere deep down in your unconscious mind there is still a limiting belief (aka Fear) holding you back. So no matter how hard you try or consciously believe you want the change, there’s still some work involved in trying to get your unconscious to believe it.
Aside from actual behavior, another way we know we are running old belief systems is by taking a closer look at our body. Our bodies store a lot of this hidden emotion; more than we can ever truly know. Try to think of one specific goal you’ve been trying to work on for the past few months or even years. Now, take a moment to be honest and ask yourself, “what event or trigger prevents me from going the last mile?”. You’ll often notice that when you recall a specific moment your body is also reacting to the limiting belief. Whether it tenses up, becomes anxious, angry, etc. your body is only reacting to a running belief system.
Now for the good news: whether you get to the underlying belief system or not is not nearly as important as this one fact – you have the power to change.
As I’ve mentioned before, making permanent change requires you to understand and pinpoint specific moments where desired change should happen and change your response by changing your state. If old belief systems were running our outcomes then it requires a NEW belief system to make new outcomes. What do you need or want to believe so that you don’t run up against the same wall over and over again? How do you need to feel in order to overcome the block? These are just a few key questions you can ask yourself to get started.
Now, having said that though also requires a bit of faith and surrender. After all, if we can’t surrender and/or aren’t willing to see things differently where is the room to consider possibilities? Change? Hope? Where is the room to learn, grow, and be open to greater magic to unfold?
And of course on that note…
Sometimes, surrendering and knowing this is where you need to be for where you are is good enough.
Sometimes, what we need is more compassion and time for the dust to settle.
And sometimes, that is more than good enough.
So be kind to yourself. Trust the process and know when you are ready you have all that you need to make positive change happen. Last but not least, lean in to surrender and faith. Don’t be too tied to a specific outcome. After all, who knows what the Universe might give you instead? 😉
Seattle has been absolutely gorgeous this past week, and I hear it’s going to stay this way until next week. This makes my heart skip a beat. If you’ve ever spent a non-rainy day in Seattle you know very well what this might feel like. The fresh, crisp, cool air, the warmth of the sun on your face, clear blue skies, outlined by the evergreens and the cascades everywhere you look. It’s pretty much perfection! Don’t get me wrong, the rainy days can be just as cozy… but as they say you can’t take the sun out of the girl. 😉
Lately, I’ve been cherishing every moment. Finding the good in every moment. Each time I let the pup out in the morning I take a BIG gulp of fresh air. I feel the coolness of the air come into my throat, down my lungs, all the way through to the back of my heart. Then I open my eyes and stare up at the huge evergreen in my backyard and thank God for this moment. I end this small moment in time by standing in awe of what is truly in front of my eyes.
What makes these days even more precious is knowing that these are the last few days of 2017!
I don’t know about you guys but I am all about making each and every moment count; which by the way reminds me of a truly great article by Tim Urban who so eloquently put our time into perspective.
No matter how stressed I am, when I take a moment to truly appreciate our time I am left with immense gratitude. After all, it’s perspective, and a question we can ask ourselves right now is, what lens am I wearing today?
As we approach the end of the year things can get hectic, reallllly hectic. So for this week’s Friday Focus it’s all about cherishing the moments. How can we stay in wonder and gratitude throughout the day? What small, minute moments can we cherish and love knowing this moment is all we have right now?
Here’s to another sun filled weekend, and may we appreciate the stillness that is always present.
Have you ever said one thing but noticed your actions never followed through? Or maybe your body didn’t feel as relaxed or calm as your voice did?
One easy way to know whether your words match your core beliefs is to notice your reactions.
How you REACT is a deep reflection of your CORE BELIEFS.
“She doesn’t bother me anymore” – Yet you feel tense and angry inside
“My fear of big dogs is completely gone” – Yet your body tenses up just a bit every time you see a big dog
“I can’t wait to see you next week!” – Yet your stomach drops and you don’t feel elation like you would a really good friend
“I’m really exited about this new job” – Yet, you don’t feel good deep inside your heart
These are only a few examples but it’s enough to get the gist of the pull quote above. How are you reacting and does your body language and emotions align?
Take a moment to think about one thing you want to happen in your life. Whether that’s to date more people, find that new job, finally get over someone, start a new diet, whatever it is, take a moment to name one thing you are so sure that you want and have wanted for a really long time now.
You have it? Ok, write it down as an affirmation. An example would be, “I have a soul charged career and work with people I love to see every day.”
Once you’ve written your affirmation down, say it out loud. Declare it.
How did that feel in your body? What emotions came up for you? Is there a feeling of doubt? Did you cringe? Did you feel a bit defeated? Or did you feel a smile on your face? Elation? Belief? Trust?
If you felt more of the first category of emotions don’t fret. The point here is not to be disappointed about this, it’s to get excited about it! Yes, excited! Why? Because now you have a clue as to why your deeper, subconscious self doesn’t believe the statement you read aloud.
Take some time to do some pattern recognition work. Look back at the times in your life where you tried to make this change, but ultimately change never happened. In what ways did you sabotage yourself? What are some core limiting beliefs you had in the past that prevented you from following through on the change?
The best way to do this reflection is automatic writing or free flow writing. Get out a note pad, journal and a pen and start writing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to write yet, just begin writing! Repeat the same word over and over again until something flows.
Another way to do this is to write a letter to God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self and then write a response back as if God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self were writing you back. You would be surprised at how easily the answer comes.
You see, the answer is always within us. It doesn’t matter what modality you use, just find the one that works for you.
Throughout these processes you will begin to realize a few core limiting beliefs have been holding you back. Typically these core limiting beliefs sound something like:
Whatever your core limiting belief is you will notice it right away once it begins to come to light, and THIS is what needs to be worked on before change can happen.
Typically, if you are truly ready to break the limiting belief, once you’ve identified what those are for you, you might notice your mind already working and shifting toward positive change. If not, don’t worry, now that you know what your core limiting beliefs are you can work with a trusted friend to create accountability, do some research, listen to podcasts, or reach out to resources such as a therapist or life coach.
This should be exciting and I hope you begin to feel the work of change growing inside you. Once you’re truly ready for change you’ll begin noticing open doors and little hints here and there… follow them.
“All things (that happen) are what God would have me know.”
Photo by Bryan Minear
“You are a miracle machine. When you get out of your thinking mind and just feel from your heart center the anxiety fades away. Anxiety comes from believing you have done wrong. Because deep down you have blocked the miracle. When you love and see and feel with your heart, anxiety does not exist. Anxiety is a human, ego condition. When you feel it, drop into your heart and believe in miracles. Come up to your natural state; your higher, true state. No one can hurt you. Only you can hurt you. You are the powerful one. Make it so.“
To be intimate with our deepest, darkest emotions is true mastery.
Photo by Trevor Cole
Do you actually know how powerful you are? How much light is within you? How beautifully perfect you are? How your soul is the perfect creation of this much grander piece of art that we are all connected to?
When we understand what is truly important, we have a means of accessing this at any time. Especially during the moments we need it most.
Any emotion other than Love is fear. Fear of loss, shame, embarrassment… even anger, jealousy, anxiety… these are all emotions that lead to the ROOT of what it means to be human – the need to be loved and accepted.
What tends to keep us in this state of fear is like a dense, murky fog that hasn’t been lifted yet. If we can realize we already ARE the love and acceptance we are searching for and in need of the fog suddenly fades. You can see the light that was always there, hidden from your view.
Trust where you are. It is showing you something… Feel all the feels, follow through on your emotion, then look to see the hidden gift. Was it to strengthen your faith? Was it to strengthen your knowledge? Was it to reaffirm your own light? Time and time again, there is a gift in every situation but only you can find it.
So, after you read this post take a moment and close your eyes, and when you do feel into your heart. What do you notice? What is it whispering to you? Listen to your heart and don’t forget your light.